i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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