that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
