she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
