Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
