that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
