I'm so fucking centered right now
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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