dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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