sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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