This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
