Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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