I will die if light touches me.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
