one might say we're banned from that church
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
