Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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