fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize