So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
