you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
