What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
