apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
