In the future we'll all be gay
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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