I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
zippers are such a cool invention
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
