god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize