I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
