This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
