we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize