that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
