My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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