So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
