you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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