at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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