I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
