She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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