I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
