he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize