Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
