Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
