You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
How's work?
Spinning.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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