I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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