shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
