I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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