Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
