just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
