He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
