My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
