Sponge bath it is.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize