I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
