; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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