Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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