do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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