In the future we'll all be gay
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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