One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
