He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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