I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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