Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
