It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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