Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
