I wish my penis had an off switch
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
