I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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