like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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