my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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