He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
