my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
